Unselfie: Why Empathetic Kids Succeed in our All-About-Me World by Michele Borba

Borba is a world famous educational psychologist and the author of twenty-two books that have been translated into 14 languages.  She appears regularly on the Today show, and has also been featured on The View, Dr. Oz, and the NBC Nightly News among other programs.  She is an expert on parenting, bullying, and character development.

Borba’s studies have proven one thing to be clear.  Children who are raised to value understanding and respecting other viewpoints and the feelings of others end up with what she calls the Empathy Advantage.  Empathy fosters kindness, prosocial behaviors, and moral courage, and is an antidote to bullying, aggression and prejudice.  As evidence of the advantages empathetic people have, she notes that the Harvard Business Review named it as one of the “essential ingredients for leadership success and excellent performance.”

Part 1 of this book shows the reader how to help children develop the first four fundamentals of empathy:  emotional literacy, moral identity, perspective taking, and moral imagination.

Part 2 is about helping children practice the habits of empathy through the use of self-regulation, practicing kindness, and collaborating with others.

Part 3 provides ways to help children live empathically through the use of moral courage and altruistic leadership abilities.

Borba’s approach can be summed up beautifully by this quote from Henry David Thoreau, which appears in the introduction:

Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other’s eyes for an instant?

It is a lesson sorely needed in the world today.

Reviewed by Kate Tesdell